It is easy to pretend things are fine online, that your life is peachy and everything is going great. Right now I am coming clean.
Last week I was diagnosed with Agoraphobia with Panic Disorder, likely stemming from the high stress life since my husband’s cancer was graded terminal. I saw a psychologist to get a professional opinion of how to overcome this. I made this appointment weeks ago, but in the time I was waiting for the date to come my husband was taken to the hospital in an ambulance and stayed for nearly a week.
I woke up to my husband rolling around in agonizing pain, he was supposed to go to see his oncologist about some long lasting stomach pains, but he would be unable to make the appointment. I called 911 after speaking to his doctor, we originally feared an intestinal blockage with a possibility of rupture causing sepsis. That was not the case. After getting him to the hospital they found no blockage, but they did see that a tumor (originating in a lymph node) had grown so close to the pancreas that it has metastasized and grown into the organ itself. They worked out a pain management routine and released him from the hospital to await further testing at a larger facility.
Friday they had him go in for a endoscopic ultrasound and biopsy of the tumor. While doing this procedure they managed to do a nerve block to reduce the pain, this will last about two months and need to be done again. Now we wait for the results, from previous discussions with the doctors there can be a few different outcomes with different treatments for each outcome. We are just hoping for something that will treat the cancer and relieve my husband’s pain.
I feel overwhelmed, in the midst of all that is happening with my husband I am starting a new medication to hopefully help with my Agoraphobia and Panic Disorder, I don’t know what will come from all of this, but we are hanging in there and keeping busy with our life and our kids.